Guest post: Martha Stewart and The Pumpkin Pot Pie Disaster

There has been a lot of talk about Martha Stewart in my household lately because a friend of mine is creating a Martha Stewart blog, so it was only natural my wife would have her own Martha Stewart related story. She wanted me to pass it along, so this is it.

I am the youngest child of six children in my family. My mother was an amazing cook. She was one of those cooks who could really cook anything. She shared her recipes and taught my older sisters and even my brothers to cook. She taught me how to set the table.

I was working full time before I graduated college and, like most ambitious people, I focused on my career and chasing that American Dream. I worked very hard to have a nice home and beautiful things. My home was clean and organized, mostly because I didn't have time to enjoy it. I wasn't exactly domestic in those days.

Then I turned thirty and decided to learn to cook. About time, right? Well, I am an all-or-nothing kind of gal, so I didn't start with a simple dish appropriate to my skill level. No, I went full-on Martha Stewart!

I decided to use a Martha Stewart recipe to make these beautiful chicken pot pies you bake in real pumpkins with a pastry top. Now I had a well-equipped kitchen, top-of-the-line cookware and gadgets. Pristine really, because those gadgets had never been used.

I went and bought the best and freshest ingredients and planned it all out perfectly. Or so I thought. I made no accommodations for the fact I had no skills in the kitchen and no idea what I was in for. I actually invited my family over for dinner!

One of my sisters asked what I wanted her to bring. I told her I was cooking. The phone went silent, but I could still hear her trying to think of a gracious way out of my invite.

I called one of my brothers to invite him and he asked what I wanted him to bring. I told him I was cooking everything. My brother has never been one to spare my feelings, and then he began laughing uncontrollably and said he wouldn't miss my meal for the world. He also muttered something about this being his Christmas card that year.

Well, I did not let any of this dissuade me. I was so determined.

You know how on television you watch chefs chop and dice and make it look easy? It's not. Clearly it was divine intervention that I made it through chopping onions with all my fingers intact, and in under an hour.

I began with homemade chicken stock. By the time I cut the vegetables and herbs and got the chicken and spices together and measured, I was two hours in. Next I made the dough for the crust. Seemed simple enough. It wasn't. I didn't know any of the tricks I know now about chilled butter in small pieces and iced water and even chilling the flour and cutting it all together. I used a room temperature whole stick of butter and a spoon and ... let's just say it didn't go well.

Then came the pumpkins. I bought pie pumpkins and cut them and cleaned them. That took about two more hours. You had to roast them a bit first and then add the chicken pot pie mixture and pie crust for baking. I thought I had it all under control. I didn't! The dough kept sliding off the pumpkins and sinking down inside. I tried to make more dough, but it was awful. I finally ran to the store and bought ready-made pie crust (Martha, forgive me) and began to fashion a topper for the pumpkins. Nothing worked. By this time the pumpkins were starting to pucker and wrinkle. It was hideous.

There is no happy ending to this story. It gets worse.

I actually served what was, at this point, toxic waste to my snickering siblings. Did I mention they were evil? They have never let me live that disaster down, no matter how many of my culinary triumphs they've devoured since.

That fateful night we ordered pizza and I endured the ridicule and the subsequent therapy that would follow.

But my table setting looked beautiful. Martha would have been proud.

5 unusual foods in a can

The foods themselves might not be odd, but just finding out these particular eats can be found available in cans is kind of weird, if not downright disturbing in some cases. I'm sorry, but some foods just shouldn't be served from a can.

Brown Bread in a can

I would give this one a try, but I have to admit to being skeptical. I like good bread, and I just can't fathom that bread from a can is going to taste like much. Perhaps I'm wrong. I've not tried this stuff yet. Maybe I need to make a trip to the grocery store.

Whole Chicken in a can

Is there anything about a whole chicken in a can that sounds appealing? And what gets me, there's more than one company that makes such a product. Imagine how this thing is going to come out of the can. Warm. Stringy. Sticky. Wet. In other words, yucky. You'd have to do a lot of cooking before it would sound appealing to me.

Cheeseburger in a can

Unfortunately (maybe?), this product no longer shows up on the German manufacturer's Web site. Could it be they realized this was not such a great idea? Sure, it doesn't look or sound appealing, but does it really seem any worse than much of the grub served at fast food restaurants nowadays?

All Day Breakfast in a can

This stuff comes from the Brits, but you can sometimes find a version of it in the States. This is another one where you just have to ask yourself, "Who thought this would be a good idea?" Looks to have beans, sausage, hot dogs and possibly some other kind of unidentifiable meats. Sounds like zombie food.

Alligator Cajun Style in a can

Okay, this one is really starting to get out there. I've eaten alligator. It was kind of flaky, like fish, but maybe that was just how it was prepared for me. But that was at a fancy restaurant. Going home and popping open a can of 'gator just doesn't seem to have the same quality to it. Maybe this stuff is a hot item in Cajun country.

10 health benefits of apples

1. Cancer: Apples can possibly help in the fight against cancer, at least by helping to lower your own risks of cancer. How? Apples contain quercetin, an anti-oxidant, that helps to prevent cell damage in the body that can lead to cancer. So having an apple a day can't hurt.
2. Asthma: A couple of studies provide evidence that apples help to combat asthma and its symptoms. One study suggested that women who eat apples during pregnancy are less likely to have babies who suffer from asthma. Another study suggested that drinking apple juice at least a couple of times a month helped children with breathing problems brought about by asthma.
3. Constipation: Apples have lots of natural fiber, especially in their skins. This fiber helps with constipation problems by keeping the digestive tract running smooth.
4. Heart disease: Pectin is a soluble fiber found in apples, and pectin has been shown to help with a whole slew of problems that can bring about heart disease. Pectin builds up in the digestive tract, helping to lower cholesterol levels and decreasing the risks of heart attack and stroke.
5. Alzheimers: No, apples can't cure Alzheimers, but one study has shown that the natural chemicals and vitams in apples help to protect the brain from neurodegenerative diseases such as Alzheimers, possibly even Parkinsons disease.
6. Teeth: Yes, apples are good for your teeth and gums. The natural acidic properties of apples help to keep the teeth clean and your breath smelling better. The sturdiness of apples also helps to strengthen teeth and gums, allowing for a brighter smile.
7. Skin: Apples are even good for your skin, fighting bad UV rays, keeping the skin clean and fresh and young looking. It's the elastin and collagen in apples that are best for the skin, and the two types of apples with the most of these properties are Granny Smith and Red Delicious. Eating apples is good for the skin, but for a more direct approach you can make your own apple sauce or apple face mask at home and apply it to your skin. To do this, chop and smash apples into a sauce, then add some honey and oatmeal.
8. Sunburn: Since apples are good for the skin, it's natural they also are good for dealing with the pains of sunburn. Smash some apple pulp, mix in just a little glycerine, then apply it to the skin for at least fifteen minutes. Wash away with cold water. This will help to sooth your burnt skin.
9. Blood sugar: This one is especially good to know for diabetics. If your blood sugar gets low and you're starting to feel bad, grab an apple and start chomping. The natural sugars in apples help to regular blood sugar levels.
10. Weight loss: Apples taste good. And they're made up of 80 percent water. What better treat for helping to lose weight? Apples also have plenty of fiber, are low in calories, and have next to no natural sodium or fat. You can't beat that for a diet food!

10 Unusual Pizza Toppings

1. Squid: Try it with shrimp and Miracle Whip or mayonnaise. Maybe a touch of your favorite cocktail sauce. Could make an interesting seafood pizza.
2. Baconnaise: Why not? Add real bacon and ham and sausage and have a total pig fest. But only if you're not worried about fat and calories. Check the Baconnaise Web site for more recipe tips, and believe it or not, the stuff is healthier than you might think.
3. Asparagus: Turn it into a vegetarian pizza by adding sprouts and spinach and cucumber slices. Not your thing? Not mine, either. I'm more of a meat lover. But every now and then a veggie pizza can be cool and healthy.
4. Cream cheese: Add some pineapple slices or some strawberries or other fruit and have a dessert pizza. It would be decently healthy. Though I wouldn't suggest putting on the traditional, tomato-based pizza sauce. That'd be a big YUCK!
5. Peanut butter: Bring on your favorite jelly and have a PB&J pizza! Or there's always bananas, or even deep-fried bananas. Elvis would have loved it. Add chopped nuts for that crunch factor.
6. Eggs: Put in some spinach and cheese and you've got yourself an omelet. Maybe some onions to bring on the flavor. Strips of green and red peppers could make a nice combination, too. Just watch out for the heartburn.
7. Cranberries or cranberry sauce: With some turkey slices and maybe pumpkin pie filling, this could be a little Thanksgiving pizza served early. If you want to live real dangerously, make the bottom layer just on top of the crust out of mashed potatoes.
8. Sweet and sour chicken: You could add on some fried rice or noodles and have a Chinese pizza. But you wouldn't have to stick to sweet and sour chicken and that delicious sauce. You could try General Tso's chicken or pineapple chicken or any other different kind of chicken from one of your local Chinese restaurants. Get it to go, then add make a pizza out of it.
9. Prawns: Sound fishy? Go all out and add tuna and salmon and anchovies. You'll have the ultimate fish pizza. Your sauce could be a cocktail sauce or maybe even a malty vinegar.
10. Chocolate: This one isn't for everyone, but with marshmallows added it could be like a hot cocoa pizza. Or serve it with your favorite pudding or cake icing. Go all out and make a giant, fatty, dessert pizza. Sit back and enjoy.

10 health benefits of oatmeal

1. Lower blood cholesterol: Oatmeal contains a soluble fiber known as betaglucan, and betaglucan helps to reduce the amount of bad cholesterol in the blood stream. The way this works is the oatmeal sort of gathers the bad cholesterol to itself while traveling through the body, then takes the bad cholesterol with it as it exits. Just a bowl of oatmeal a day can help your body.
2. Losing weight: That fiber in oatmeal also helps with weight loss. The oatmeal makes your stomach feel full, and the oatmeal itself normally only has about 150 calories per half cup. And, of course, the extra fiber intake allows your body to more easily pass along food.
3. Energy: Oatmeal has a good number of carbohydrates, and while in some circles carbs have become a dirty word for those who are dieting, you body needs carbs to keep up its energy levels. That's where oatmeal can come in handy. Low fat and relatively low calorie, a single bowl of oatmeal can help to boost your energy levels (very important in the morning) while not loading your body with fat. Just don't over do it and eat nothing but tons of oatmeal, because those carbs will add body weight eventually.
4. Fighting cancer: Oatmeal is no cure for cancer, because a cure has yet to be discovered, but oatmeal does contain plenty of insoluble fiber which helps the body to fight against bile acids, and their toxicity, which helps to lower the risks of cancer. At least according to the American Cancer Society.
5. Memory: Oatmeal has plenty of vitamin B, which is important for the brain and nervous system to function properly. Help keep your mental faculties alert and active by having a little oatmeal each day.
6. Dry skin: Have dry, itchy skin? Applying an oatmeal pack or mask can help. The natural, lubricating fats in oats allow oatmeal to be a great moisturizer and can leave a thin layer of protection on the skin. How to make an oatmeal mask? Ground up some oatmeal in a coffee grinder until it's quite fine. Mix in a bowl with warm water and honey, then let that sit for five minutes. Wash your face, and while it's still slightly damp, rub your oatmeal mixture onto your skin. Leave it on for ten minutes, then wash off with water. Easy!
7. Acne: Since oatmeal is good for dry skin, it's also good for acne and cleaning the skin. Cook up some oatmeal, let it cool, then apply and let it sit for about ten minutes. It's really that simple. And oatmeal and a little water are much cheaper than many of the face cleansers on the market.
8. Neurodermatitis: In case you don't know, neurodermatitis is a skin disease that can leave one with itchy, sometimes inflamed skin. Oatmeal baths are supposed to be good for relief of neurodermatitis, which makes sense because oatmeal is good for dry skin. But don't just take my word for it. Ask your doctor. And no, oatmeal baths aren't just a giant bowl of oatmeal; it's a regular bath with a bag of oatmeal dumped into it. Again, ask your doctor for advice and directions.
9. Hair: Yep, oatmeal is good for the hair. Don't believe me? Mix up some oatmeal, then apply it to your hair while in the shower. Rub it in just as you would a shampoo, then let it sit for a minute or so. Wash it out completely, dry your hair, and then feel your hair. I'd bet your hair will feel soft and strong, and it'll be clean, too. Lots of shampoos have oatmeal in them.
10. Colon cleaner: Ooo, gross! But cleaning the colon helps the body in many ways, including reducing the risk of cancer. Remember all that high fiber content in oatmeal? Well, it's also good for helping to keep the colon clean by forcing along food particles out of the system. I know, you don't like thinking about it too much, but it can improve your health.